Thank You Starbucks

It was 10:30 AM, Sunday the 22nd, JFK airport. I was making my connection to Charlottetown. Since about 5 a.m. I had been plotting celebrating the first leg of my journey with a venti latte at JFK.

I waited in line for about 15 minutes. I was surveying the baked goods from a distance, debating the chocolate chip scone. Yes, no, yes, no. I had packed some delicious fennel wine biscuits in my knapsack. I could do without it. But heck I've been up for 5 hours already, I deserve something a bit more decadent. Mmmmm. Ok, i'm going to get the scone.

As I inched closer to the cashier, i noticed that each carbohydrate had a little card sitting in front of it announcing its calorie count. 480. That pretty much sealed the deal. My turn to order -- A venti non fat latte and a bottle of water please. That's it.

Follow up: Top vs. Dress

In a related fashion discovery, last night while folding laundry, I felt compelled to measure my almost twelve year olds Abercrombie jean shorts. They just looked so absolutely tiny splayed out there on the hood of the washer.

I took out my trusty 25' Stanley tape measure, the one that I use for interior design projects. I knew full well i'd need less than 1/25 of it to accuratley measure the doll-like shorts. From the button on the fly to the middle of the crotch, it is 8". My hand, from where my wrist begins to the end of my middle finger, measures 7 1/2".

My daughter has a beautiful body. I am intrigued by her beauty which incorporates the best of our genetics. It is developing earlier than mine ever did. And she doesn't understand its power. Lessons will come.

I wonder if she'll be amenable to me sewing some colorful pom pom fringe onto the hem of this 8" loincloth to give it another 2".

Drape-goat

O Rachel Ray. Even though you kind of annoy me, I thought you looked good in the coffee ad. I have no talent for accessorizing, yet I can spot the talent on others. That paisley patterned scarf, otherwise known as "what appeared to be a black-and-white keffiyeh," seemed to be so nonchalantly draped though i am sure the stylist belabored the fringe over and over again.

The scarf looked like an item you've owned for years. You know, it looks a little ratty. I didn't think Muslim extremist for one minute until the keffiyeh seed was planted in my head. At that point, I did entertain the thought that perhaps you had slept with a hot Lebanese guy, and then just kind of adopted his favorite scarf as a sweet souvenir, much like some women like to hang out in their boyfriend's soft oversized button down shirts.

This Dunkin Donuts drama has even caused a stir in the land of half-votes where i reside. For example, I was in Marshalls yesterday, detoured through accessories, and noticed this pileup of scarves (above). Just as i was out the door, men stormed in wearing orange haz-mat suits, and confiscated this very display. Apparently some body talc from the neighboring cosmetics department spilled all over the display, and someone had called in an anthrax alert. It was quite dramatic. Shoppers applauded in another symbolic win for our government.

I am fascinated by this piece of news. At this press time, Rachel Ray's website makes no note of the ad controversy, nor does Dunkin Donuts' site. For certain people, it's all been swept under the prayer rug, I suppose. But others, like me have lingering curiosity. I found some amusing commentary at Canadian Broadcasting Center, www.cbcnews.ca. Here it goes:

"I hear bank robbers and gang members wear jeans. Maybe we should ban anyone from wearing jeans in commercials. I mean seeing jeans on TV might encourage someone to become a gang member."

"Bet you Rachel Ray's now on the no fly list."

"I'm sure some poor fashion stylist has now lost their job over this nonsense."

"I think my cat just laughed."

"No one has mentioned Dunkin' Donuts complicity in this non-event by pulling the ad. Too bad they don't capitalize on the publicity by giving similar scarves to contest winners."

There are plenty more. Check out the site.

I do recognize the need for intelligent security operations, and I am sure many of these are in place, keeping us from blowing up. Thank you for that. But let's try to minimize blowing iditotic things out of proportion. Fashion police, toiletries in baggies, new mothers pulled aside and interrogated because of suspicious looking breast pumps(careful they might leak something!) -- our government is grasping at straws and overworking it to its detriment.