Thursday, November 20, 2008


Every now and again, I am reminded of the stuff men are good was one of those days...(flashback)

I had taken time out from my busy work schedule to cross a few househould chores off the list. The sauteed chicken breasts were cooked and I was eager to eat one, and it was time to transfer the wet clothes into the dryer.

If you or someone in your family is not the best at pocket-empty-outing, you know that when the wet clothes come out, anything could be lurking in the drum -- lip gloss, candy, phone numbers, and money. I have always respected the way money stays intact while other papers shred to bits. I wasn't, however, expecting a lizard.

I jumped backwards and said "yuck" a number of times. My body tightened. Then came a multitude of "oohs." I slowly approached the open washer and peaked in and noticed the lizard was missing some digits. I found them scattered about. Like a tornado rips apart a mobile home, so did the spin cycle destroy the amphibian.

I gathered up gobs of paper towels, much more than my eco-conscience would normally permit. I collected the odd bits first, got some extra toweling and as I turned away, dipped my hand in for the rest. And quickly took it to the trash which i will be removing momentarily.

And so that had me thinkin' that I could have saved the lizard removal for a man if I lived with one. But a minute later I was happy I had just the right amount of self-reliance to do it myself. Somehow I just couldn't stomach the chicken.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I stopped to pump gas this morning and wasn't paying much attention to the background noise until I heard a familiar voice that was very un-Shell Station-like. I heard the voice of SNL's Seth Meyers. Weird. It was then that I looked up and saw a TV screen embedded into the pump. The entertainment, which was largely advertainment, concluded when i disengaged the nozzle from my tank.
I wonder if I bought the more deluxe gas, would the entertainment be upgraded too?